If you think you’ve mastered the art of procrastination, you’re wrong. To master it, you must procrastinate on mastering it. So technically there is no way to master it. It’s a paradox.
I’m naturally gifted at procrastination. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, and I am no way close to quitting. My head is overflowing with ideas, I create a mental note in my head to do it, and then I forget. If I did everything that came to mind, I’d probably be successful. Instead I keep rewatching old shows because I’m too lazy to find a new one. I don’t even watch them at this point, I scroll through Twitter since just hearing the Audio creates a mental image in my head cause I’ve seen that episode about 15 times at this point.
Anyway. Is it a gift? Is it a curse? Who knows. I know I love it, I love sitting around doing nothing all day and then successfully finishing a project twenty minutes before the deadline. I work very well under pressure because I’m always under pressure and it doesn’t really affect me.
I had 3 months to write my senior thesis. I did some research at first, but then I got busy doing nothing with my best friend in college. I don’t regret it. Then the last month came, and I felt the pressure breathing down my neck. So i started writing. For a day. Then two weeks went by and everyone in my class said they finished their project. That’s when I remembered I had to finish it. I told my best friend that I’d be in the library the next two weeks. We ended up hanging out in my room that night. And the night after. A week before the deadline I realized I was fucked, so I actually got to work. I wrote the whole thesis in about two days, and my plan was to take it to the library to get it checked by the Writing Center. Instead I hung out with my best friend in my room until the night before I had to turn it in. I looked over the thesis, corrected a couple things and turned it in. I got a B+ and I was very happy, because it was the hardest professor in the whole school and I basically did nothing to write my thesis 40 page thesis.
Anyway. I thought of the idea to write about procrastination a couple of days ago. I’m impressed I actually wrote it within the same week. I actually had about 3 posts ready to publish in my drafts, I was just too lazy to go into my drafts and press publish. I think I’m close to winning the award for the laziest person on earth.
The weather is nice today. It feels like spring. What was I saying?